Breast Augmentation: also known as augmentation mammoplasty — is a surgical procedure to increase breast size.
“NO WAY IS AN “A” A REAL CUP SIZE.”
My cup never runneth over. Actually, I really don’t need to wear a bra at all (unless I’m doing something sheer.) “A”, is really a joke, a ploy to keep small breasted women feel some sense of false security…a teeny, tiny step above a training bra. Does it bother me? Uh, how about in clothes, bathing suits, and naked? Forget about it. And I’m not just talking about naked-with-a-man-naked. But just looking at myself in the mirror. Which I keep hoping will magically reflect even a “B”.
“THEY’RE NOT CALLED “HOOTERS” FOR THE WINGS.”
The world is filled with boob men. Not laughing, ladies? There are more than 430 Hooters locations and franchises around the world. That’s a lot of hooters being served up. There was actually a study that showed waitresses with larger breasts got bigger tips. And you can bet it’s not because of the service. My breasts, on the other hand, are absolutely flauntless. Sporting a pair of gawkable girls isn’t my goal, though. I’d just like a size that I can personally hoot “hooray” for.
“TOOTHPASTE AND OTHER TRAVESTIES.”
After a Google burn out, I discovered a lot of Lilliputian-breast-sized woman like me, think there are ways to increase their bust size naturally. There are certainly a lot of promises being bandied about everywhere that strike hope. Strike out, is more like it. Consider some of these frightening fantasies my search unleashed:
“Tighten Sagging Breast in Just 5 Days Using Toothpaste.” No Joke. So claims a blogger who swears that mixing up a combo of toothpaste, flour, egg whites, and cucumber and applying it to your breasts will firm up your boobs. (Over 3 million views on this one!)
And it goes on…
There’s breast enlargement gum
Breast enlargement patches
Breast enlargement cookies (yes, stop laughing…)
And are you ready for this one? Breast enhancement ringtones for your phone. (Couldn’t make this one up if we tried.) Hopefully, hopefully, “insanity” is what you’re thinking. (You should be.)
“WANT TO KNOW VICTORIA’S REAL SECRET?”
You’ll never look like them. You’ll never have their Angels’ breasts, even in your dreams. No matter how much you spend, lingerie still leaves you lacking. Underwires are overrated. Push-ups still need something to push up. And to add insult to injury, you’ll never grace the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. My breasts will never be runway ready.
“FROM FAKING IT TO FAKE. NO THANKS.”
I’ve thought a lot about getting my breasts enhanced for a long time. But I have violent fear of the results screaming “fake!!!!” It would be nice to have men look, but not to make them transfixed on what’s obviously not real. The only real judge I want, is me. Finding the right plastic surgeon was everything. And fortunately I found him – Dr. Thomas A. Narsete. He wasn’t about feeding me false illusions or pushing the “bigger is better” myth on me. He spoke to me about my expectations, and explained how breast implants would look different on every woman, depending on their height and weight. Unlike anyone else I saw for a consult, Dr. Narsete was the only one I trusted to have the eye to know what would look most natural for me. So I had the surgery and loved what I saw. If you feel like I did, call Dr. Narsete for an appointment right now.
It couldn’t get more real.